Anxiety About The Homecoming

As the homecoming date approaches, it is common that anxiety and impatience start to set it. Like the beginning of deployment, you get emotional and nervous. These feelings and emotions are COMMON!
Think about what you are nervous and anxious about. You have not seen him in months, you only get to talk to him when he can talk to you and you have not had any physical pleasure from him since you saw him last. Now the date is approaching. Now you actually can picture him coming home and picture things going back to normal. Yes he has changed, but you have changed too. While he was away, you were changing apart, but you were still changing together. You were compatable before, you were compatiable throughout the deployment and you will still be compatable after the deployment.
Your nerves and anxieties will only make the time you have left seem longer. Keep busy, like you have been, stay happy by doing things for yourself and focus on the positive emotions you are feeling about seeing him again. The homecoming will be here before you know it! Just a little bit longer! Keep pushing on, keep that head up and GET EXCITED! :) Don't let those nerves distract you! <3

Not A Day Goes By

Most of us are familiar with the country band Lonestar and their song "Not A Day Goes By." Tonight I was sitting in my room playing Pandora, and this song came on. I have never realized how much that song pertains to our lives as Military SOs. There is truly not a day that I do not think of my Marine. Every day things remind me of him and us. Music can help us get through those hard times by reminding us that we are not alone in this. We have each other for love, support and motivation while the loves of our lives defend the best country in the world; however, there are some days and nights that music reminds us of what we do not have with us. Yes our men are in our hearts every second of the day, but tonight all I can do after hearing "Not A Day Goes By" by Lonestar, is cry.
Crying does not show weakness; crying shows that you care so strongly about someone so amazing. Tonight, I cry over the amazing memories we have together and the need and want to add to our list of accomplishments and adventures. I cry because I miss one of the best things God has given me. But the main reason I cry tonight sitting here at my computer, is because while I sit here and complain about how hard it is to be away for my other half, it breaks my heart to think how hard it is on him. He is defending America, he is sacrificing his life, he is putting himself in harms way for people he does not even know. I am doing nothing in comparison to the sacrifice he is putting forth for our country.
As I sit here, cry and feel selfish for complaining about missing him so much and wanting my Marine and my relationship back, I realize I chose this life. I chose to love a strong, independent man. I chose to be second to the military. Sometimes being reminded that crying is okay and those memories will happen soon enough is all we need. You know who reminded me of that today? My amazing Marine. He got on Facebook today and all he said was:
"Hello my beautiful! I only have 5 minutes on the computer, but I wanted to let you know that you are perfect for me and I LOVE YOU!"
The simplest words, the simplest gestures have the most meaning. Don't read past them because you have heard them or seen them before. Read each word like it is the first time he ever messaged you or talked to you. Let each word have as much meaning as it did the first time you heard it from him. And do not let the power of the phrase "I love you" lose any meaning.
"Not A Day Goes By that I don't think of you. After all this time, you're still with me it's true."

A Tribute to My Heroes

I remember growing up with my brothers and watching super hero cartoons and seeing the amazing powers each super hero possessed. Just as Disney has tricked us into thinking the perfect relationship is one where there is no fighting, constant gentleness and love every second of every day, super hero cartoons and comic books have tricked society into thinking all super heroes wear capes and possess supernatural powers.  I know I speak for all of us when I say, these are not the heroes we see in our lives... ever.  The people we see as heroes are the ones that have influenced our lives in a plethora of positive ways and continue to do so every day. 

Personally, I have two heroes, neither one of them wears a cape or has an amazing super power. Both of them are human and both of them have made me into the person I am today. First let me begin with my Marine.  My Marine has made me such a strong person and helped me to find the person I have dreamed of being since I was a little girl. He truly brings out the best in me and shows me that love is capable of many things. I look up to my Marine in many ways, for he is tough but loving at the same time, funny but serious when he needs to be, comforting but will not sugar coat anything, genuine, honest and loyal. I am proud of the man I have watched him become over the past few years, and proud of the woman I have become as I support him through his military career.  

You know how people say you will date a man that is like your father? Well it is true. My Marine resembles my father in so many ways, which brings me to my next hero, my dad. My dad is a retired Colonel in the Army. He raised me like I was one of his cadets with fatherly affection, of course.  He is someone I look up to for guidance, advice, life lessons, really anything. My father has showed me how hard life can be, but how important it is to keep pushing on and look forward to the future. He has shown me that getting help is okay, that helping others is as important as helping yourself and no one deserves to be disrespected. My dad is an amazing person that has been through so much to reach his current place in life. I am proud of him and all of his accomplishments. I only hope to be the female version of him one day!

These two men have shown me that a hero is human. A hero is someone that makes mistakes, apologizes, gets back up and keeps moving on and enjoying life. My Marine and my dad are two men in my life that will never leave, will always support and love me as I support and love them, and will always show me how important it is to be yourself, love yourself, respect yourself and never let something defeat you. I owe so much to these two men, they are my heroes, my best friends and the loves of my life (in different ways, of course).

I don't know how else to say this to you two, but thank you.

Show it Who's Boo

Through the journey of life there will be days you never want to relive and moments you never want to happen again, but those always seem to be forgotten after some time has passed. Those days and memories always seem to be less dominant in your mind than the good memories and moments.
Through distance and deployment there will definitely be those days you never want to relive, want to completely forget, and you wish never happened. They are truly inevitable. I want each and every one of you to do/have something every day you enjoy. Do not go to sleep thinking, "today was a waste of a day." Just because you broke down, missed your man more than normal, cried yourself to sleep, or didn't want to get out of bed in the morning does not mean your whole day was bad. Do not let deployment and distance ruin days, months or years of your life. Live everyday for yourself if your man is not here. Still show him you love him, but show him you can do this on your own. Show him you are strong and will not let deployment or distance take over. Break down, but get back up and smile. Miss your man, but realize you are so lucky to have someone so amazing to miss. Cry yourself to sleep, and wake up the next morning telling yourself "today is going to be a great day." Get out of bed and make yourself pretty because you are going to make today a good day. Do not let deployment make a bad day into a bad month and then a bad year. Let deployment be time for you to SHINE and time for you to live and do things you cannot do while your man is home. Do not let deployment or distance defeat you. Instead, kick deployment and distance's ass, and show it who's boss!

A New Year, Start Fresh

Happy New Year!!!!
People say a new year brings a fresh start. I always thought the people that said things like that were silly because there is no way one day can change your outlook on life completely. As I sat by the window this morning, looking out at the snow, my coffee in hand, alone while everyone slept I thought about what I want to change about myself, do extra, or get rid of in 2013. While doing that, I realized a new year really is a fresh start. You get to start the year learning from the mistakes you made in 2012. You get to start the year with mature thoughts about what you are going to do for YOURSELF this year. You get to reflect on past anger and forget about it because you realize it is truly in the past. And you get to start the year off smiling because of the love you feel and share with your military man.
This is the year I get to see my love again. It is still a little ways away, but nothing makes me more excited about this year than seeing him again. As I sat at the window this morning I cried just thinking about seeing him again. He is such a major part of my life that I truly do not know what I would do without him. Of course these things do not go through everyone's mind, but they sure did go through mine this morning. 2013 is going to be a wonderful year. 2013 is going to be a memorable year. I am going to make it one! What about you?

It Happens

Today my Marine and I got into an argument. As I felt like the whole world was crashing down on me I realized one argument will not make or break your relationship, especially when the argument is done over a Facebook message. The argument we had is a reoccurring argument, but today I finally realized arguing over the internet will NOT solve anything. The time you have to talk to one another over a deployment should be seen as precious; therefore, your time should not be spent arguing. Sometimes you have to put whatever is going on in the back of your mind and forget about it until the time is right. Yes it will pop up in your head, and you will think about all the things you want to say to him, but biting your tongue can be beneficial as well. Don't let an argument consume you because you are stronger and wiser than the silly comments being thrown back and forth.
On a deployment your military man needs to focus on what is important: his safety, his emotional health, his physical health and his mission.  On deployment there will be times that he needs to put you out of his mind because you distract him, positively of course. The last thing a man or woman needs while they are deployed is negative distraction from home, and that is where we CAN actually help them. It is our job here on the homefront to be strong for our men. There are going to be weak moments, it is inevitable, but those are not times to complain to your man. They already know we love and miss them, they do not need our tears. Tears only hurt them and make them think deployment is ruining us and making us weak. So, when you are sad you have your friends, family and me to help! Don't let the stress of deployment come between you and your man. Any issues you have, definitely mention them, but discuss them when he is home. Write it down so you do not forget. And don't do what I did. Do not jump to conclusions and make assumptions, especially if you are stubborn like me. You will only push the situation and make it worse than what it needs to be. Today I learned from my mistake, my Marine and I are fine, but I feel badly that I distracted him and took him away, mentally, from what is important right now. All I want is for him to be safe and come home to me!

You Are Appreciated

Today I woke up to the most amazing email from my Marine. He told me he got his birthday and Christmas packages! The best part of that email was hearing about how much he appreciated the packages, how much I do for him, and me as his "princess." That is what led me to write this post today.

Appreciation is something we all deserve but do not feel like we get quite as often as we would like it. We are the girls waiting for our men, so we deserve some appreciation right? Well after receiving the email I did this morning, I realized my Marine has appreciated and loved me through it all. The unspoken appreciation that we think they feel is the appreciation they really do feel. If your man does not tell you how much he appreciates what you do for him, know he really does. Everything you do for him does not go unnoticed. He is thankful to have you in his life, and he is thankful to have someone at home that loves him as much as you do and supports him the way you do! Don't let the lack of communication let you doubt or second guess the love and appreciation you and your military man share! You have something so special, and you will be rewarded for you hard work!

Keep your head up this holiday season and know your baby loves and APPRECIATES you more than anything in the world. What would he do without you? He has no idea!