Anxiety About The Homecoming

As the homecoming date approaches, it is common that anxiety and impatience start to set it. Like the beginning of deployment, you get emotional and nervous. These feelings and emotions are COMMON!
Think about what you are nervous and anxious about. You have not seen him in months, you only get to talk to him when he can talk to you and you have not had any physical pleasure from him since you saw him last. Now the date is approaching. Now you actually can picture him coming home and picture things going back to normal. Yes he has changed, but you have changed too. While he was away, you were changing apart, but you were still changing together. You were compatable before, you were compatiable throughout the deployment and you will still be compatable after the deployment.
Your nerves and anxieties will only make the time you have left seem longer. Keep busy, like you have been, stay happy by doing things for yourself and focus on the positive emotions you are feeling about seeing him again. The homecoming will be here before you know it! Just a little bit longer! Keep pushing on, keep that head up and GET EXCITED! :) Don't let those nerves distract you! <3

Not A Day Goes By

Most of us are familiar with the country band Lonestar and their song "Not A Day Goes By." Tonight I was sitting in my room playing Pandora, and this song came on. I have never realized how much that song pertains to our lives as Military SOs. There is truly not a day that I do not think of my Marine. Every day things remind me of him and us. Music can help us get through those hard times by reminding us that we are not alone in this. We have each other for love, support and motivation while the loves of our lives defend the best country in the world; however, there are some days and nights that music reminds us of what we do not have with us. Yes our men are in our hearts every second of the day, but tonight all I can do after hearing "Not A Day Goes By" by Lonestar, is cry.
Crying does not show weakness; crying shows that you care so strongly about someone so amazing. Tonight, I cry over the amazing memories we have together and the need and want to add to our list of accomplishments and adventures. I cry because I miss one of the best things God has given me. But the main reason I cry tonight sitting here at my computer, is because while I sit here and complain about how hard it is to be away for my other half, it breaks my heart to think how hard it is on him. He is defending America, he is sacrificing his life, he is putting himself in harms way for people he does not even know. I am doing nothing in comparison to the sacrifice he is putting forth for our country.
As I sit here, cry and feel selfish for complaining about missing him so much and wanting my Marine and my relationship back, I realize I chose this life. I chose to love a strong, independent man. I chose to be second to the military. Sometimes being reminded that crying is okay and those memories will happen soon enough is all we need. You know who reminded me of that today? My amazing Marine. He got on Facebook today and all he said was:
"Hello my beautiful! I only have 5 minutes on the computer, but I wanted to let you know that you are perfect for me and I LOVE YOU!"
The simplest words, the simplest gestures have the most meaning. Don't read past them because you have heard them or seen them before. Read each word like it is the first time he ever messaged you or talked to you. Let each word have as much meaning as it did the first time you heard it from him. And do not let the power of the phrase "I love you" lose any meaning.
"Not A Day Goes By that I don't think of you. After all this time, you're still with me it's true."

A Tribute to My Heroes

I remember growing up with my brothers and watching super hero cartoons and seeing the amazing powers each super hero possessed. Just as Disney has tricked us into thinking the perfect relationship is one where there is no fighting, constant gentleness and love every second of every day, super hero cartoons and comic books have tricked society into thinking all super heroes wear capes and possess supernatural powers.  I know I speak for all of us when I say, these are not the heroes we see in our lives... ever.  The people we see as heroes are the ones that have influenced our lives in a plethora of positive ways and continue to do so every day. 

Personally, I have two heroes, neither one of them wears a cape or has an amazing super power. Both of them are human and both of them have made me into the person I am today. First let me begin with my Marine.  My Marine has made me such a strong person and helped me to find the person I have dreamed of being since I was a little girl. He truly brings out the best in me and shows me that love is capable of many things. I look up to my Marine in many ways, for he is tough but loving at the same time, funny but serious when he needs to be, comforting but will not sugar coat anything, genuine, honest and loyal. I am proud of the man I have watched him become over the past few years, and proud of the woman I have become as I support him through his military career.  

You know how people say you will date a man that is like your father? Well it is true. My Marine resembles my father in so many ways, which brings me to my next hero, my dad. My dad is a retired Colonel in the Army. He raised me like I was one of his cadets with fatherly affection, of course.  He is someone I look up to for guidance, advice, life lessons, really anything. My father has showed me how hard life can be, but how important it is to keep pushing on and look forward to the future. He has shown me that getting help is okay, that helping others is as important as helping yourself and no one deserves to be disrespected. My dad is an amazing person that has been through so much to reach his current place in life. I am proud of him and all of his accomplishments. I only hope to be the female version of him one day!

These two men have shown me that a hero is human. A hero is someone that makes mistakes, apologizes, gets back up and keeps moving on and enjoying life. My Marine and my dad are two men in my life that will never leave, will always support and love me as I support and love them, and will always show me how important it is to be yourself, love yourself, respect yourself and never let something defeat you. I owe so much to these two men, they are my heroes, my best friends and the loves of my life (in different ways, of course).

I don't know how else to say this to you two, but thank you.

Show it Who's Boo

Through the journey of life there will be days you never want to relive and moments you never want to happen again, but those always seem to be forgotten after some time has passed. Those days and memories always seem to be less dominant in your mind than the good memories and moments.
Through distance and deployment there will definitely be those days you never want to relive, want to completely forget, and you wish never happened. They are truly inevitable. I want each and every one of you to do/have something every day you enjoy. Do not go to sleep thinking, "today was a waste of a day." Just because you broke down, missed your man more than normal, cried yourself to sleep, or didn't want to get out of bed in the morning does not mean your whole day was bad. Do not let deployment and distance ruin days, months or years of your life. Live everyday for yourself if your man is not here. Still show him you love him, but show him you can do this on your own. Show him you are strong and will not let deployment or distance take over. Break down, but get back up and smile. Miss your man, but realize you are so lucky to have someone so amazing to miss. Cry yourself to sleep, and wake up the next morning telling yourself "today is going to be a great day." Get out of bed and make yourself pretty because you are going to make today a good day. Do not let deployment make a bad day into a bad month and then a bad year. Let deployment be time for you to SHINE and time for you to live and do things you cannot do while your man is home. Do not let deployment or distance defeat you. Instead, kick deployment and distance's ass, and show it who's boss!

A New Year, Start Fresh

Happy New Year!!!!
People say a new year brings a fresh start. I always thought the people that said things like that were silly because there is no way one day can change your outlook on life completely. As I sat by the window this morning, looking out at the snow, my coffee in hand, alone while everyone slept I thought about what I want to change about myself, do extra, or get rid of in 2013. While doing that, I realized a new year really is a fresh start. You get to start the year learning from the mistakes you made in 2012. You get to start the year with mature thoughts about what you are going to do for YOURSELF this year. You get to reflect on past anger and forget about it because you realize it is truly in the past. And you get to start the year off smiling because of the love you feel and share with your military man.
This is the year I get to see my love again. It is still a little ways away, but nothing makes me more excited about this year than seeing him again. As I sat at the window this morning I cried just thinking about seeing him again. He is such a major part of my life that I truly do not know what I would do without him. Of course these things do not go through everyone's mind, but they sure did go through mine this morning. 2013 is going to be a wonderful year. 2013 is going to be a memorable year. I am going to make it one! What about you?

It Happens

Today my Marine and I got into an argument. As I felt like the whole world was crashing down on me I realized one argument will not make or break your relationship, especially when the argument is done over a Facebook message. The argument we had is a reoccurring argument, but today I finally realized arguing over the internet will NOT solve anything. The time you have to talk to one another over a deployment should be seen as precious; therefore, your time should not be spent arguing. Sometimes you have to put whatever is going on in the back of your mind and forget about it until the time is right. Yes it will pop up in your head, and you will think about all the things you want to say to him, but biting your tongue can be beneficial as well. Don't let an argument consume you because you are stronger and wiser than the silly comments being thrown back and forth.
On a deployment your military man needs to focus on what is important: his safety, his emotional health, his physical health and his mission.  On deployment there will be times that he needs to put you out of his mind because you distract him, positively of course. The last thing a man or woman needs while they are deployed is negative distraction from home, and that is where we CAN actually help them. It is our job here on the homefront to be strong for our men. There are going to be weak moments, it is inevitable, but those are not times to complain to your man. They already know we love and miss them, they do not need our tears. Tears only hurt them and make them think deployment is ruining us and making us weak. So, when you are sad you have your friends, family and me to help! Don't let the stress of deployment come between you and your man. Any issues you have, definitely mention them, but discuss them when he is home. Write it down so you do not forget. And don't do what I did. Do not jump to conclusions and make assumptions, especially if you are stubborn like me. You will only push the situation and make it worse than what it needs to be. Today I learned from my mistake, my Marine and I are fine, but I feel badly that I distracted him and took him away, mentally, from what is important right now. All I want is for him to be safe and come home to me!

You Are Appreciated

Today I woke up to the most amazing email from my Marine. He told me he got his birthday and Christmas packages! The best part of that email was hearing about how much he appreciated the packages, how much I do for him, and me as his "princess." That is what led me to write this post today.

Appreciation is something we all deserve but do not feel like we get quite as often as we would like it. We are the girls waiting for our men, so we deserve some appreciation right? Well after receiving the email I did this morning, I realized my Marine has appreciated and loved me through it all. The unspoken appreciation that we think they feel is the appreciation they really do feel. If your man does not tell you how much he appreciates what you do for him, know he really does. Everything you do for him does not go unnoticed. He is thankful to have you in his life, and he is thankful to have someone at home that loves him as much as you do and supports him the way you do! Don't let the lack of communication let you doubt or second guess the love and appreciation you and your military man share! You have something so special, and you will be rewarded for you hard work!

Keep your head up this holiday season and know your baby loves and APPRECIATES you more than anything in the world. What would he do without you? He has no idea!

A Perfect Relationship

When I was younger I dreamed of finding my prince charming and living happily ever after. I thank Disney for that. I thought a perfect relationship was one where there were no fights, no disagreements, no days when you cry yourself to sleep, and no days you went without seeing or at least hearing from your love. After going through life and seeing relationships fail, relationships work, and relationships struggle I have learned that a perfect relationship is one where you disagree to better understand one another, you fight when something pisses you off, and you go days, weeks, or months without hearing from your love, often not by choice. But the most important thing I have learned is through all of that you always love each other, every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep. You think about your other half almost ever second of every day, and things everywhere remind you of them. A perfect relationship is one where you accept and love one another for who each other is and who you each will become. Many times people think a fight is bad and is only going to lead to more fighting and more disagreeing. In some cases those people may be right; however, one fight leads to more because you are finally comfortable to talk about what bothers you and you care enough to mention it to your other half. Disney messed up the idea of a perfect relationship. It is not finding someone enchanting, falling in love at first sight, always smiling and laughing and never arguing. Simply, a perfect relationship is when two people fight for one another and the love they share through every aspect of life. It is falling in love over and over again with the same person every time. It is being happy even when you are completely pissed off. Finally, it is knowing you can't and don't want to be without the one you share your life with. That is what makes a relationship perfect.
<3 A

You're Never Alone

There are nights when all you will be able to do is stay up thinking about him, wondering what he is doing, if he is thinking about you and if he is happy where he is.  There are nights that all you can do is hold the stuffed animal he gave you months ago and cry.  There are nights where you lose hours of sleep even though you know you have such a long "to do" list for tomorrow.  There are nights that all you can do is miss and love your man.  

These nights are common for every military s/o.  Whether your man is on duty, in training, in a weekend conference, on deployment, or wherever he is other than in the bed next to you, know you are never alone.  There is not a military s/o out there that will say they never had one of these nights before.  There is someone out there right now with your same feelings.  I can promise you he thinks about you every night before he goes to sleep.  He loves you every second of every day.  He carries you in his heart every wherever he goes.  He is a man, so his emotions do not show as much as ours do, but that does not mean he cares any less or loves any less than you do.  

While you are lying in bed feeling alone, don't let your mind and heart doubt.  Crying is okay, wondering is okay, worrying is okay, but don't ever doubt.  Your man loves you and supports you here at home, while you love and support him wherever his duty has taken him!  

Our lives can be rocky and harder than we ever could have imagined at times, but the love between a man in the military and his girl at home is a love that cannot be put into words.

So as you lye in bed tonight and feel helpless and alone, let yourself cry.  Let yourself be angry. Let yourself miss him. And let yourself smile at how lucky you are to have someone so amazing, handsome and perfect to miss.  He is with you through all these emotions. You are never alone! 

<3 A

Happy Thanksgiving!

I would like to begin by saying Happy Thanksgiving. I hope everyone had a wonderful day. Many of us are away from our military man this holiday season, and it is hard knowing they are somewhere else in the world and not right where they belong, the seat next to us at the dinner table. But this year instead of dwelling over our men being gone, we should be extremely thankful. We have dedicated men that are sacrificing their lives, their time and their favorite meal of the year for their loved ones and strangers here in America. Today it was hard to know that K was not here with me, but I also grew extremely thankful. I realized that I am more than thankful and lucky to have someone to love and miss the way I love and miss K. Most importantly, I am thankful for the love and devotion K and I share with one another. 

Going off of that, here is a little story from my day I thought I would share:
It is tradition in my family to go around the table and each say something you are thankful for. My mom started. She said "I am thankful for love. There are so many variations of love. There is love I have for each one of you guys (her children), the love I have for God, the love I have for my friends and the love I have for Tom (her boyfriend). The love I have for Tom is a love I have never felt before. He is very special to me and I am more than thankful to have him in both mine and your kids' lives."

After what my mom said I got to thinking, what does being in love mean? It is something we all fell, but is it something that we really know how to define? Everyone will define it differently, so here is my definition of what it means to be in love:

Being in love to me is when nothing else matters but your other half. It is like your world revolves around each other. With each word spoken and each step taken in a relationship you always find a way to progress. No matter how angry they make you, you always find a way to laugh off the anger. No matter how far they are from you, you always find a way to get to them and be with them. The feelings you have for that person are merely impossible to explain in words, and deep down you know no one will ever replace that person and the role they play in your life. Being in love to me means being absolutely ecstatic about every moment life brings because at the end of the day you know the love of your life will always be there to talk, listen and comfort you while you grow old together. Being in love to me means doing everything you can to make your love smile, make them happy, and make them know that you do not want anyone else but them forever. Being in love to me means never being without your love and always carrying them in your heart. It means getting through everything you encounter in your relationship TOGETHER and coming out stronger than you were before. After two plus years, being in love to me means finding your best friend, a person you see in every aspect of your future, and finding the one person that will love you for all your flaws and qualities that are not necessarily appealing to everyone. Finally, being in love means loving your partner just as much as they love you: loving the person they were, the person they are, and the person they will become.

So today, let us be thankful that we have the ability to love, that we are in love, and that we are loved.  Let us be thankful that we have a man to share that love with, and let us not doubt the love we share with our military man. Being thankful is one of the best things about the holiday season. Every morning think about something you are thankful for right when you wake up. That way, you start every day this holiday season off with a smile on your face! Carry that smile with you throughout the day! Happy Thanksgiving ladies! 

And if you didn't hear from your man today, know he loves you with all his heart and wishes he could have been here with you today.

Happy 237th Birthday Marine Corps!

Happy Birthday to the United States Marine Corps! Thank you to all the men and women who have served or are currently serving as a Marine in our military. Our country is grateful for everything you do for us, and we are proud of all you. I hope you are aware of the amount of support there is for you here in the states. Again, thank you for all you do Marines. Once a Marine always a Marine!

Loving a Military Man

The Military and Children.

Being a part of the military lifestyle is down right hard in every aspect. The distance, loneliness, stress (just to name a few) can become very overwhelming. Add children into the mix and it becomes even trickier! Getting pregnant and bringing new, little lives into the world is exciting. Whether planned, or a surprise, it's life changing! Of course best case scenario is doctors appointments with your partner, decorating the nursery together, belly rubs and massages, driving to the hospital in a rush when labor FINALLY starts, or anxiously waiting for your scheduled c-section, experiencing the birth together and it forever changing your life. Unfortunately, that's not always the way it happens when you are a military family. Everyone's situation is different, but in my case, I spent my pregnancy alone, had my scheduled c-section with my, absolutely wonderful, mother in the room. Connor's daddy didn't get to meet him for the first time until Connor was 3 weeks old. It was anything but easy doing it without Connor's dad there, but I know I got lucky. I had an amazing support system at home willing to help me with everything and anything I needed. I know that everyone doesn't have the support they need, and I will forever be grateful for the people who helped me when I needed it the most. I can't believe that in less then a month, my then 8 pound baby, will be celebrating his 1st birthday. This past year has been one of the hardest yet most rewarding years of my life. It went by in a blink of the eye, and I never thought I would get to today. As excited as I am for my baby boy to be turning one, I also can't help but to be sad at the same time. I think about all the memories and milestones Connor's dad has missed. I think of all the moments I wanted to rip my hair out and wished his dad was there to give me the much needed break I deserved. I know in the grand scheme of things, one year compared to the rest of our lives isn't that long at all, but Connor will never be a baby again. With that being said, my experience is not all negative. Through everything I have become stronger, learned that I can handle a lot more then I thought I could, and grown as a person. I know the distance isn't permanent, although Connor's dad has missed a lot, we still have our whole lives ahead of us. There will be plenty more memories that we will make together, as a family. Even across the distance, Connor's dad has managed to be an amazing father and role model. Connor will not remember the things that his father missed, but he'll always be proud that his daddy is a U.S Marine! Whether you're partner is home with you, currently deployed, training, stationed in a different state from you, whatever your situation is, being a parent is never easy. Having a child while your partner is in the military is not a walk in the park. There will be tough, frustrating, stressful, exhausting moments, but the joyful, exciting, loving and proud moments you experience will make it all worth it! Keep your head up and be proud to be a Mommy!

<3 B

Our Military Family

Through the military I have learned the true definition of family. Family is so much more than the parents that conceive you, the siblings you grow up with until the age of 18, and the extended family you only see on holidays. Family is greater than the people who give birth to you and raise you. Family is defined by the group of individuals who you surround yourself with in your day to day life.  For me this is not only the family I was born into but also the family I chose.  I chose the military life.  In the military we have an instant connection with one another. We share one of life's greatest joys and hardships. Through "hellos" and "goodbyes", distance, separation, deployment, financial struggles, relationship issues and more we are all in this together.  The military brings us a sense of unity because we relate to one another in a way not many people can relate to. As much as the "civilian world" would like to understand what we go through on a day to day basis, it is merely impossible.  This sense of unity and ability to relate to one another are the two main reasons the military brings us together as a family.  We feel comfortable to share our experiences with one another, comfort one another when we are feeling down and alone, and put positive thoughts into another's mind just to help them get through a hard day.  We encourage our "military sisters" to achieve their personal dreams while also supporting their man. This family we have created in the military helps us to never feel alone. Ladies no matter what struggles we go through, we have some of the strongest relationships on the planet. The love between a Marine, a Soldier, an Airman, a Sailor, or a Coastie and their woman is a love that can never be broken; however, the relationships we make with other military SOs to help us when our man is gone is what is truly amazing to me.  Think about all the women you have met through the military. Each one of them has impacted your life in some way, I guarantee it!

The ladies I have met through the military have brought so much joy and comfort to my life. They have helped me through some of the hardest times in my relationship, but have also been there for some of the best times. Trusting someone can be hard, but for some reason I have been able to trust the ladies I have met in the military much faster than I have been able to in past friendships with individuals.  The relationships I have made with these women are ones I would never give away.  My "military sisters" are the only ones who truly and completely understand how I feel, why I am emotional randomly and why the love for my Marine will never dwindle down.  Our relationships with our men are different, it is obvious, and that is why we all need one another. I am blessed for everyone I have met, and I hope you have met many great ladies too! If you would like to meet more, shoot me an email, and I will point you in the right direction. Remember family is one of the most important things in life, and it is something we choose. Enjoy the military family you have and make sure they know they are each important to you; I know I will let my sisters know right when I log off! Have a great night ladies!     

<3 A